


echo

by Kurosuke (cdra)



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdra/pseuds/Kurosuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To anyone else, it would have been an innocent enough question — but the response he was met with was fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	echo

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from tumblr [here](http://waveringdaze.tumblr.com/post/89508490158/to-anyone-else-it-would-have-been-an-innocent). The mirror piece to this (from Kano's POV) is [here](http://uncannymonster.tumblr.com/post/89491326834/if-youre-that).
> 
> This is a POV exploration on that one scene from MCA where Kano cries and it was written right after that episode aired, in response to the Kano POV one linked above.

To anyone else, it would have been an innocent enough question: “You don’ seem like yourself, are y’ sure nothing happened?”

But the response he was met with was _fire_.

“If you’re that curious, just use your damn power! You can peek inside my head, right, Kousuke? You don’t even need to ask!”

Those words left his head turned upside-down—everything about them was wrong. No, not quite wrong, that wasn’t quite the right word—but they were strange, they were a touch uncanny, too real, too nostalgic. Almost instantly his heart sank, falling into his gut, because it didn’t take a mind-reader to know that these words were honest, pure, unfiltered truth coming from the mouth of a liar.

“…Kano?”

He muttered the name, still disbelieving, and almost immediately it felt strange—for the blond had used his first name, an old term for himself that he hadn’t heard in years. But his weak, confused breath of a name did nothing to stifle the flow of his words.

“You’re all on edge, but you don’t know a damn thing—it’s not like you really give a damn about Neechan, am I right?”

At this he could only shake his head, indignation rising in his chest. Surely he didsn’t really believe that, surely he didn’t really think that they’ve forgotten about her? Her, the girl who haunted his nightmares all the same, who gave him his first breath of courage, who pulled their ragtag gang together and made them not only into a “secret organization”, but also into a real family…?

“W-what’s gotten int’ you?! How could you say—”

What dripped from his voice was sadness, a lack of understanding, indignation and a low-burning pain now stirred up. But it wasn’t nearly enough to stop the flow of emotion from his brother, who cut him off with a wide swing of his arms and a bitter, biting cry.

"And stop talking like that!”

Stop talking like that—his breath hitched in his throat and his words stopped short, ill-formed, crumbling to dust in his mouth as he witnessed his brother display something he had never seen, only heard quietly under his thoughts once, twice, when they were children, back before so many things. And in a way it seemed like they were children again, simple and honest, calling each other by first names—but being told to stop talking like that—the words lit a flash of memory, of Tsubomi’s voice saying it, saying “we’re family, right?!”—he wasn’t able to continue.

"I just… What the hell? How did it come to this? Mom and Sis are both gone…”

Not able to respond, he listened, eyes wide and almost disbelieving as he watched every bit of the other’s facade fall, every bit of that which he clung to so tightly shatter and crumble into useless pieces, leaving him only with a hand to cover the tears, the pain, the despair and everything that had been boiling under that perfect mask for who-knows-how-long. He could feel his chest growing tight, guilt rising up and hissing how could you miss this, how could you not have seen this coming for so long? Aren’t you supposed to be the one who saves others, who can hear things like this? You let this distance grow, let this divide happen and now look, look at where you’ve ended up.

"We’re all gonna be killed by him sooner or later.”

Up until those words he had understood, but now, he realized how little he truly knew. It wasn’t idle anger, none of his was, he had realized that long ago, and there was something truly dividing them now—but the mind reader hushed that voice away, latching onto his courage instead; he rose to his feet, keeping eyes fixed on those tears, that painful truth. And it hurt, every bit of it hurt, the guilt and the sorrow and the memories all balling up in his chest to create a disgustingly tight knot, but—

"I’m.. I’m sick of it. Of this world..”

He took his brother into his arms, fingers taking hold of blond tresses, gently, firmly, holding him there, a silent apology, a silent understanding. But the time for silence was over, and he managed a smile—some part of him was happy, so happy to see this honesty, to close this divide, even though it was hurting, tearing them apart at the seams.

“It’ll be okay—it’s okay.”

"How is it gonna be okay?! Damn it…”

Somehow, someway, it would; because… he let the other sink into his arms, holding him there—because somehow everything would be okay, as long as they were together, as long as they were moving forward.

“Ever since we were little, you always tried to shoulder everything yourself, Shuuya.”

Shuuya—the big brother who always took troubles onto himself. So much like their big sister, he had always tried to be strong—somehow, had he missed that that never changed? Of course; he wasn’t looking, he had stopped looking, because he didn’t have to anymore, he had the choice to turn off that horrible power, and so he had simply assumed all was well.

“You always put on a smile around us. But back then, I figured it out.”

And it hadn’t changed now—out of sight, out of mind, but in no way gone, in no way changed, and equally unforgotten. He knew this truth and he recalled it somewhere deep inside, and his explanation, his words, simply fell as a weak indicator of what he had always known.

“You’re always pushing yourself too hard.”

The tired, shattered voice which creaked his name—it was enough, the same flimsy acknowledgment that perhaps, there was just a touch of understanding between them now, that they could stitch up this divide and return to how they were if only maybe, maybe they both took a step toward it—and those names were a small step, a tiny, tiny inching forward toward that ideal.

“I know you don’t want to say anything… But from now on, let’s bear it together.”

Together—let’s both press on, let’s share this burden, let’s share our understandings and stand on the same page again and communicate honestly—because—

“Because you and me, we’re brothers.”

With those words, scarlet eyes opened, letting go his apprehension, reaching in to take that burden, to lighten it by sharing the weight of whatever knowledge rested in his mind. And there was a strange satisfaction to be taken from the simple word “maybe” as he heard it, whispered in thoughts, the honest and weak and still unbroken voice of his brother, of Shuuya, not of Kano.

Definitely—I’ll definitely catch you this time. ( Because this isn’t the end; this is a new beginning. )


End file.
